Thoughts...

I'm not normally one to blog about deep spiritual things because when I start writing something I read over it a thousand times analyzing every word until it all becomes one big paragraph of confusion in my mind, and I decide that no one will get what I'm writing about anyway and delete it. I've decided that if I don't start writing down some of my thoughts, they are going to get lost in the mush of a brain that I have (comes after having 2 kids) and I could really use the outlet. So here goes...

For some reason over the past week or so, I have started taking inventory of everything materialistic that we have in our home. I guess because a few of the small groups in our church are demoing a new website called twoshirts.org. Its a place where people in your area can post items they have to give away and items that they need. In my mind it is the 21st century approach to giving and receiving like how the early church did in Acts.

Acts 4:32-34, "All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. 33With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. 34There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales 35and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.

Wow, just reading that reminds me of how much I think we as the Church have truly missed the mark when it comes to living in community with one another and sharing one anther's burdens. Me being the one who gets it the least. As I have been looking at our possessions, I have become convicted about how much we live in excess. Just cleaning out my pantry, I have 5 boxes of mashed potatoes and even more bags of rice. How crazy is that?? I look at Isaiah's toys and realize that he doesn't play with half of them or my clothes...I know this isn't a new discussion topic and we all can look at our stuff and realize we have too much but why don't we ever do anything about it?

What would it really look like if we lived not out of excess but just on what we need? Now please hear me, I'm not saying we shouldn't enjoy what God has given us. God does give every good gift and I believe that he allows some to have more than others and I think that its great! I just am wondering why we think we need so much and have such a hard time parting with our things. I'm the type of person who loves having more than enough, it makes me feel secure and taken care of. Knowing that I am not going to run out of mashed potatoes anytime soon brings some weird sense of relief to me.

I'm not quite sure what to do with these musings but I thought if I started to blog about them it would actually bring some type of accountability, so when people come over and they see my pantry still stockpiled on rice and potatoes I will remember what I wrote and be challenged to prayerfully consider what God might have our family do.

Can we even begin to imagine what God could do with a people who cared more about allowing God to provide for us based on are willingness to give away as well as our willingness to receive?? What would it look like to be seen as needy? Am I ok with letting go of my desire to be self-sufficient, secure and comfortable?

So many questions...not a lot of answers.